Pathetic....this is all so pathetic..........................................hmph

it hurts.....it hurts.....it does....really....i waste time in school......it really hurts...............i got 49 on an assignment,,,maybe i am wasting time.....i can't concentrate.........help.................i.....................it just hurts so bad....so little faith-i waste time.......

4.2

:'( know what the latest mantra is?.....i don't go to school, i just take her money and go goodness gracious knows where (to lyme with ma dutty no good friends) and if i do go to school, all i do is...nothing......i love my life.....i love lyming with my dtty no good friends, CAP1, Art of feature Writing, Advanced Research, Basic TV II and Introduction to Music...i love them so much-they make my life fun and interesting, like, i have to hand in or be working on assignments most every day of the week...i spend hours out on shoots, and editing and completing paper work with Basic TV most of the time-he's my best friend i tell you...and CAP 1...that one's a real bitch-i never understand a word but that CAP 1 has high standards...and Feature Writing-dear god!-Cracks me up-i've got to submit a feature story every wednesday morning and stay and lyme for 3 hrs afterward-oh, did i tell you abt Basic TV and me spending 4 hrs together every monday and wednesday? :)-mighty jolly time i'm having i tell you....and there's Advanced Research-joy of my life-really-i absolutely love this one-i have to give him a chapter of a study i'm carrying out every week-plus spend hrs in the library with him going through newspaper archives....and Music...well...i've tonne of scores to go through-3 cd's to listen to, find time to practice and read a tonne of material.........i have the best life ever....i hang out and lyme with my friends all the time-all i ever do....they're great...

Movement. Energy. Life. Coursing through my veins. Art. Love. Life...Beauty-it's beautiful. Pulsing.

Their reactions are interesting, though I didn't do it for them..."I like your jeans" "What was your inspiration?" "You an dog did a fight?" "you and your torn jeans...what kind of phase are you going through?"...and so many more...sometimes I laugh, sometimes I smile, sometimes I'm blank....sometimes I tell the truth. Life happened. Life's my inspiritation...but they don't get it........so many things that I cannot say, so much darkness for one poor soul...talk about wearing your heart on your sleeves...but none of them really understands...some are disparaging, some are admiring, some just think me plain wierd...but none of them cares...cares to understand.